Estranged Parents

Family estrangement is complex. Different families may arrive at the same painful situation through very different circumstances, and no single theory can explain every case.

This collection brings together researchers, psychologists, therapists and other informed contributors to examine ...

Dr Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and the author of Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict . He specialises in relationships between parents and their adult children and has written and spoken extensively about family estrangement.

We have brought together ...

We have created an Estranged Parents YouTube channel to bring together useful videos about family estrangement in one easily accessible place.

Visit the Estranged Parents YouTube channel:

Estranged Parents UK on YouTube

To begin with, the channel will mainly contain carefully selected videos ...

Understanding estrangement: why adult children cut contact

When an adult son or daughter cuts contact, one of the hardest questions for a parent is often:

Why?

Sometimes the reason seems obvious. Sometimes there has been a major argument, divorce, addiction, a difficult relationship with a ...

The first days and weeks after estrangement

When an adult son or daughter cuts contact, the first few days or weeks can be overwhelming.

Parents may experience shock, panic, anger, disbelief, shame, sleeplessness and an intense urge to do something immediately to repair the situation.

Those ...

Should I keep trying to make contact?

One of the hardest decisions after estrangement is whether to keep reaching out.

Parents may worry that if they stop trying, their adult child will think they no longer care. But repeated contact can also make an already difficult situation worse, especially ...

When attempts at contact can become harassment

Parents who are estranged from an adult son or daughter often want to repair the relationship.

A phone call, message, letter or visit may feel to the parent like an attempt to explain, apologise, reconnect or simply show that they still care.

But ...

Writing to an estranged adult child

When contact has broken down, writing can feel safer and more thoughtful than trying to resolve everything in a conversation.

A letter, email or message gives both people time to think. It can also reduce the pressure of an immediate response.

But writing is ...

When grandchildren are also lost

For some parents, estrangement from an adult son or daughter also means suddenly losing contact with grandchildren.

That can make an already painful situation much harder.

You may be grieving two relationships at once: the relationship with your adult child and ...

Birthdays, Christmas and other difficult occasions

Estrangement can feel especially painful on days that are usually associated with family.

Birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, anniversaries, weddings and other important occasions can intensify grief, loneliness and the sense of ...